Texas barbeque, salsa, enchiladas, margaritas, and a mechanical bull. That's right... MECHANICAL BULL.
I knew when I saw the words MECHANICAL BULL, I had to go. I have wanted to ride one of those things since I saw "Sissy" in Urban Cowboy. I didn't think much of it until I got to the party and my co-workers, boss, friends and some hot guys (who I later met and will withhold names) were there. As I walked down the driveway and into the crowd, I made a bee line for the food and margarita stand. I knew I was going to need some encouragement from Mr. Tequila for 'the ride.' With my FIRST margarita in hand, I wandered over by my co-workers. As I approached, the first question out of the big man's mouth was "So you gonna ride that thing?"
Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so confident, but I said I was going to ride, so by damn, I was going to ride. Hence, the reason I went back for Margarita #2. After margarita #2 the mechanical bull looked pretty timid. In fact, it looked more like a pussy cat so I mossied on over, handed Margarita #3 to my friend Frasier, took my shoes off and jumped up in the arena. By arena I mean a 10x10 area to safely fall once I've been bucked off. After Margarita #2 there now appeared to be two bulls, but I picked one to jump on and thankfully it was the right one. The guy started the rodeo music up, flipped the switch and I was off...... literally. I didn't last five seconds.
No way this cowgirl was giving up yet. I got up, brushed myself off and jumped back on. Needless to say, round two wasn't much better. As the crowd laughed and grew closer to the arena, I decided to give it one last go... not the best idea now that I have video footage of the event. Someone did me wrong somewhere along the way and if I ever find out who....... I'm gonna.............
There was a moment where the guy who controls the bull stepped away from the controls and was adjusting something underneath the contraption. He was probably plugging in more amps for my fat butt or so I heard someone say. All I know is I was ready to ride, ready to go, ready to rumble, but then... a Norah Jones song came on. And anyone who knows Norah Jones, knows her songs are slow, very slow. That's right, I was getting the Sissy treatment where she tried to get even with Bud by doing her seductive bull ride. Only, I didn't have a seductive bull ride. This is where I want to give the ladies a bit of advice. If you've never been on a mechanical bull (like me) any speed you go feels like you're flying b/c you're tilting every which way. So needless to say I had no clue what was going on. All in all it was a grand time and I would do it again in a heart beat, just not at the Norah Jones speed.
The next morning when I woke up, I could barely walk. My butt hurt so bad from that thing and I completely understand why real cowboys walk the way they do now.
One last thing... David, if you have a Christmas party I have two words for you... MECHANICAL REINDEER!
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